---
title: A Letter to My Children
description: The Struggles, Perils, and Beauty of Life
taxonomies:
  tags:
    - personal
date: "2025-06-29"
extra:
  read_time: true
  repo_view: true
---

### A Disclaimer to the Reader

This letter is for my children in case the worst should happen, or I am not be able to see them again. It is my sacred duty as a father to offer them guidance, and if the State will refuse to allow me to do that, then this is my only path to achieve it. Hopefully this will all be over soon, but just in case it is not I will leave this here. It is very raw, and intentionally so. Everything in here is gained from experience, it is a sincere attempt to encapsulate my imperfect wisdom for the sake of my progeny.

I offer a deliberate disclaimer because I'm well aware of the vipers who will come here to judge and scrutinize every piece of it. First of all, you ought to be ashamed of yourselves if you had any to speak of, which clearly you do not. The timing for your shenanigans is utterly inappropriate, not that you seem to have any sense of what is or isn't appropriate left in you. I should ask you kindly simply to leave in peace, instead of coming here to judge a situation you have utterly no experience in, though I'm quite sure you will not.

Regardless, this letter is surely representative of the experience of a lot of men going through similar situations. I just so happen to be a couple of years ahead of most of them, having gotten started early. Rest assured, this sort of thing will not stop happening until the West is utterly conquered, or we finally decide to wake the [f*@k up](https://x.com/nrdexp/status/1938600312035745890). Either way, this isn't for you, in the end. It is for my dearly beloved children.

# A Letter to My Children

Hello kids. First of all I just want you to know how badly I miss you guys. I hope you are doing okay. I've seen how stressful it is in your situation too many times. I know how confused and frustrated you might be right now. I don't blame you if you blame me for this situation. Truly it is my fault, or at least my failing, for not being able to overcome this sad state of affairs much sooner. Still, I would compel you my children, as you get older, to follow my story, to sit and remember my endless struggle which you yourselves witnessed, and simply decide for yourselves if it was that I sufficiently fought for the right and honor to be your father; which has been no doubt or question, the greatest honor of my lifetime.

I won't say too much about your mother, directly. I know you all love her, and you will no matter what she does. I also know you just wanted us to have a happy family together. Know that I wanted that too, and that I tried, again and again, even in the face of some things I should have never accepted, partially for your sake and your desires, but also partially out of my own misunderstanding and miscomprehension of the situation. Please understand that I left for a very important purpose which you may now not understand, but which I hope one day you do, so you might avoid a similar fate to mine: you should never stay in a relationship where you are mistreated, and I have done you all a disservice by demonstrating the opposite for so long. That ends now.

When I left, I did not intend to leave you. In fact, I have requested again and again to see you. I want to see you, and if I find some luck in all this situation, maybe I will soon, but just know that it is more important to teach you, my children, then it is to be with you. And it is with a heavy heart, and more pain than I could even express to you, that I have managed to maintain my protest to a relationship which is fully the opposite of the sort of family dynamic I wish for all of you and your future families. Now I wish to leave you with some lessons, just in case the worst happens, or just in case I don't get to see you for a long time. There are some important duties a father has to their children by way of education of the world and your place in it, and if this is the only way I can communicate that to you now, I will try and do my best.

If you don't understand some of the things you read here, please come back again when you are bit older and read it again. Try to understand that everything I leave for you here is for your own benefit, even if some of it seems difficult, contradictory, or even outright wrong or misguided. I will attempt to unleash to you my entire lifetime's worth of wisdom in this letter, flawed as I am as a man, and as a father, and hopefully at least some of it will serve you well in your future endeavors.

Whatever happens from here, just please know, I will never stop fighting for you, I love you, and I pray every day that I get to see you again real soon.

## Lesson 1: The World Doesn't Care About You

If you listen to the media, your school teacher, the government, or a myriad of other "authority" figures in society, then this may come as a shock to you, but my first lesson may also be the most important. It is absolutely imperative that you understand that the world, and everyone in it, doesn't care about you; not really. It isn't because they are malicious or unkind, nor do I mean to say that you might never find a few close friends or even a spouse who does truly care for you to some great capacity, rather I mean to say that in the final analysis: you are on your own.

Everyone in this world has their own burdens and struggles to face. As much as political types like to come around proclaiming their great desire and capacity to offer their care and support, it is always for a price, and I assure you from experience now my children: that price is always too high to pay. There is a great burden in accepting this knowledge, but if you face it with a little courage there is also great freedom.

You alone are responsible for forging your destiny. You decide what kind of person you wish to be. What path you wish to pursue. What matters to you. To whom you will give the honor of your breath and your time, and what matters most to you. Don't let anybody take these decisions away from you. They are rightfully yours and yours alone to make. Whatever you choose to pursue in life, just know that as long as I am around (and even after I'm gone, if the spirit persists), your father will always be rooting quietly (or not so quietly) in your corner.

Still, it is critical to grasp the terrible dual responsibility here. When things go wrong in life, it is on you. It is your responsibility to fix it. Yes, even if it is an injustice against you, as the one I face now that should have rightly been corrected by my fathers, but now falls to me. Sometimes that might mean seeking justice out rightfully (as I do now), or sometimes it might mean knowing when it's time to accept your differences with another and quietly move on. The world will compel you, always, to blame others for your life circumstances. This, in particular, can be a very delicate thing to navigate. While blame is almost never going to serve you in life, understanding is genuinely valuable.

If and when something goes horribly wrong, don't worry so much who is to "blame", whether it be yourself or someone else. Instead try to understand what happened. What did you do wrong? What might others have done to contribute to the problem? Can it be rectified? Can we negotiate a solution? is there a path to pursue Justice? Or perhaps is it time to simply walk away and make my peace? Only you can decide the answers to these questions, but please don't let the temptation to the play the blame game stand in the way of finding an answer. It is understanding that will give you the power to move forward, or as you may have heard: "the truth shall set you free".

So it is then, while the world may never truly care about you, while it is terrible to face the reality of being alone in this life, accepting it can bring you the greatest power and agency over your own experience moreso than anything else in the world. I encourage you to face the truth here, and never run from it. Never believe the lie that someone else knows better than you for your own life, but never be so arrogant as to not listen to those who may speak from great experience or wisdom. In the end, though, always decide for yourself which path is right for you. We live in a time of great confusion: I wish it was that I could have raised you in a simpler generation, but that is not the case for us. It is your responsibility to cut through that confusion and forge yourselves into well developed, well rounded and fully capable adults, though I will help you at every turn if I am not long hindered. There will be many trials and tribulations, as well as many tempations along the way to give in, or get distracted; you may stumble here or there, but don't ever give up. Always move forward knowing that it is your choice, and yours alone, and nobody can ever take that from you.

## Lesson 2: The World Will Try to Pigeon Hole You

You will find, in your struggles through life-perhaps especially in your younger years-that there will be a great temptation to stop somewhere along the way. To define yourself along a single dimension. Say you start a career as an accountant. After a while it will seem like the entire world will conspire against you to make you think you could never be anything else. Don't believe it. Particularly in our time, where we tend to worship these such silly credentials as degrees, you will perhaps start to think that you aren't good enough, or that you are too old, or too dumb to change. Don't believe it.

Now I won't kid you: change is difficult, and this is the primary excuse most individuals make for never pursuing it. However, I am living proof that it is possible. Were any of that nonsense true, I wouldn't be where I am before you now. But as you older kids witnessed yourselves, I didn't get here overnight. You might even still remember those days where I would go work at the recylcing factory, working long hours picking up folks garbage, and coming home smelling of all sorts of unpleasantness. I could have ended my life right there. I could have forever and always considered myself a lowly garbage boy, never worthy of anything else in life: and believe me the temptation to do so was real and visceral. Especially in lowly stations, it is easy to compare yourself unfavorably against others, but don't do it.

Everybody is dealt a different hand in life. Some folks seem like they get just about everything handed to them on a silver platter. But it's a lie; don't believe it. Those who end up with too much, too soon in life tend to be some of the most shallow, and vapid individuals I've ever come across. Not always though either, sometimes they develop into genuinely decent human beings. It all just depends on their experience and their drive. We are all running a race but we don't all start in the same place. That doesn't make anybody better or worse than you. Just because someone has more than you in one area doesn't make them superior. Try to find balance during these times where you find yourself inevitably comparing yourself unfavorably to someone else.

Yeah they might have more money than you, or a more prestigious position in life, but perhaps you are smarter than they are, or more creative. Perhaps they treat people unkindly, or they don't take good care of themselves physically, or they are a little stupid. I know I just told you not to compare, and the point of this exercise isn't actually to compare or judge, but to remind you that we are all just human beings, with your own strengths, weaknesses and life experiences. In the spirit of the previous lesson, never let someone else define who you are, or what you can achieve in life.

Never let a piece of paper, or a resume define what you can aspire to. That doesn't mean you should always shoot for the moon either, but if you know in your heart you can do something, well then just go ahead and start doing it. You don't need anybodies permission, and trust me, when you pull it off you will inevitably gain the respect of those who understand; don't worry too much about the opinions of those that don't.

You will also notice, inevitably, that the world and the people in it will never stop obessively trying to stuff you into some kind of box. They will try to tell you what kind of politics you align with, what sort of religion you represent, how smart you are, or how much you can achieve or earn. All of these things are merely a projection of their own limitations onto you, my children. The people who try to obessively label others are subconsciously contending with the fact that they feel limited in their own experience. So it is I ask you please not to judge others too harshly either. For when you go pointing fingers, you are inevitably expressing your own insecurities, or as the old saying goes: "whenever you point a finger at someone you have 3 more pointing back at you".

Never be afraid to reinvent yourself. Especially when you are young, don't be afraid to take a few risks, even if it leads to temporary discomfort. But if you do find some success in this life, don't define yourself by it either. If you happen to find success in money or relationships, don't get too smug about it. Don't let yourself feel superior to others. Always try to be grateful for what you have achieved and experienced, and always find the next challenge to pursue. Some might say life isn't about the destination but the journey. If you are not moving toward some goal in life, you are invariably decaying.

You will always find the tempatation to rest, to stop, to feel like you finally have enough. Don't believe it. The richness and fullness of life can only be experienced in pursuit of something greater. So it is I ask you children: never stop growing. Always push yourselves to do better, reach higher, understand just a little bit more. It's not about being the best. Competition, itself, can be yet another trap. It doesn't matter who is the "greatest" or the even the "worst". The only thing that matters is the joy of experience along the way.

However, failure is also inevitable. Just understand that failure, itself, can be an accomplishment. The more that you fail in life, the more you will learn. The more that you risk failing the more courage you will acquire. So don't be afraid to fail. I know it is scary, and the thought can even be overwhelming at times, trust me kids I know. But it doesn't matter. In fact this entire lesson itself can perhaps be summed up in one statement: it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks about you.

Remember that, whether you are at the highest peak of succes, or the lowest valley of failure, that the only constant in life is change. The only reason that you would ever get "stuck" at any station in your own life is through your own stubborness. Remember that. It's up to you to get the most out of life. Sometimes you'll be fueled by proving others wrong; sometimes by proving you can do something. But the greatest motivation I have come to find in life, ultimately, is simply the joy that comes from doing the things that bring you fulfillment. So don't spend too much time or energy, either, in directions that do not bring you joy in life. This life is far too short to waste on frivolous pursuits.

You can always, and I do mean always, no matter your age or position, change course in life. It doesn't matter what the outside world thinks. They might say "it's too risky", or "why would you do that, when you have everything you could ever want", but don't listen to them. I wouldn't say to "always follow your heart", either, because our desires can sometimes lead us astray as well. Rather I would ask you to seek to find balance in life. If you are stuck in an area where you feel dead and unhappy, start to consider another change. Don't act rashly or without a plan, unless you have no choice, but don't ever be afraid to pursue a new direction if you know that it's time to.

Also know that you always have a father out there that believes in you. I know you kids can accomplish great and beautiful things in this life, and I will never doubt you, always support you and offer any guidance I can along the way. I will always be here for you if and when you need me, no matter how long its been, no matter how upset we might get with each other. As long as I am around (and maybe even after I am gone), you kids will never truly be alone.

## Lesson 3: Your Breath and Your Time

The next lesson is one that I had a very difficult time learning myself, in my own estimation at least. I will just say it outright and then try to help you understand it as best I can, as I am, myself, still only just now coming to understand the importance of this truth: Your breath (your words) are the most important thing you can offer to another human being. And since speaking and writing invariably cost you time, the next most important thing you can give someone is your time.

What does this mean? Well, you have a limited time here on this earth. There will be many battles and struggles that come your way. You will not have the time nor the energy to face them all. Thus it will become absolutely critical for you, my children, to understand when it is worth your breath to offer, and when it simply is not. Nobody can decide this for you, it is always something you must consider yourself.

You won't get it right the first time. You will inevitably waste some time in life, spinning your wheels on something that you should have probably ended long ago. You will also likely miss some opportunities that you should have taken advantage of. Don't stay stuck on these things. There will always be more opportunities, and as we already discussed, it is alright to admit defeat sometimes and move in a different direction. The trick is to keep this in mind, and always consider whether or not the thing you are about to say, or the battle which you are about to fight, is actually worth it.

Sometimes people will think you are crazy for passing up on something that they think is super valuable. That's okay. If you know in your heart its not for you, don't waste your breath explaining yourself. Sometimes too, people might say that you are insane for pursing something or spending time in a direction that they say is pointless or hopeless. That's okay too. It's not up to them.

Take me, right now, for example. Nearly the entire world has resigned themself to the modern predictament and dynamic of divorce and child custody. Everybody probably thinks I am insane for fighting and speaking out against it, yet my own experience of its corruption compels me to regardless. But it doesn't matter. It is important *to me* that you kids have a father in your life, one that is unhindered and unable to be controlled by the corruptions of state or outside influence, and whether I suceed or fail to uphold my rights, hopefully it can stand as a lesson for you kids.

You are the only one that can decide what matters to you. You are the only one who knows when it is time to fight, and when it is time to move on. Always try to remember the importance of your words. Remember even what the ancients taught: "in the beginning was the word". There is a reason. What you speak out loud has a sort of power; mysterious as it is. It isn't some kind of witchcraft, though maybe some folks will try to convince you of that, but rather it is more like the raw force of creation itself.

What you speak is a reflection of what is in your heart. It will reveal who you truly are and what you stand for, at least at that time, to others. Understand, too, that who you choose to spend time around and use your breath on consistently will have a lasting effect on who you become. If you find that you've been hanging out with the wrong crowd, in the spirit of the previous lesson, understand that it is always okay to move on, if it is time, and find new people to talk to, perhaps some who can better comprehend or appreciate what you have to say.

There is a critical and important lesson underneath here as well. Never lie. Never, ever speak something which you know is not the truth. If speech is the underlying creative force in the universe, then lying is like a destructive force eroding your potential to create. Of course, we all fail at this sometimes. It is okay, just remember how important it is the speak the truth. Know that you will be judged by your word. Understand how important it is that when you say you will do something, that you actually go through with it. Even if it is something simple and small.

I'll give you an example to illustrate the importance of something seemingly insignificant. One of my friend's young boys did me a favor a few weeks back. I promised him that if he did me this favor I'd give him a little bit of money, but I didn't have any cash on me. I promised I'd come back and give it to him later, with a bit of interest since he had to wait. Now since then, I've been through a lot, I've had to travel a bit, I've been sitting here half losing my mind trying to figure out what to do to fight for you kids, but I still remember my promise, even amidst all this chaos in my life which seems much more important and consequential. Now that I'm back in town, I've made an agreement to go out to my friend's property and give this little boy the money I owe him. If I don't it will continue to eat at me a little bit, knowing I haven't done something I promised to do.

This is exactly what I'm trying to tell you. Your words have immense power. If you say you will do something, and you don't, even if you fully intended to, even if something came up that made it difficult or impossible, it will eat at you. You will remember it, and you should rectify it if you can, or at the very least apologize sincerely if you can't. It's always nice to be respected by others but the most important persons respect to earn is the respect of yourself.

But to respect yourself is a lot harder. That's because you will see every single time in life when you lie, when you cheat, when you don't give all of your effort that you could have. You cannot lie to yourself, and I seriously caution you never to try, lest you remain stuck in a pit for the rest of your life. I don't exagerate, it can happen, and you might already know a few people close to you in life that are suffering from this condition right now. Don't let it be you. Find the respect for yourself that you need to forge ahead in life by being honest, by having integrity even if it is an inconvenience. if you are able to maintain respect for yourself, it won't ever really matter what others think of you.

But the opposite is also true: even if you earn the respect of everyone else around you, if you can't respect yourself; if you know that you have lied or cheated somehow to get ahead, you'll inevitably be miserable. So it is I try to impress upon you the power of your words; especially to yourself. Don't waste your breath, and consequently, your time on people or things that you know aren't worth it. And never be afraid to fight a battle, to use your voice, if you know that you must, despite what others might say. This is the only way, in the long run, you will be able to respect yourself, I assure you. Trust me kids, I found out the hard way.

Just know that I am always here for you if and when it gets confusing or difficult. I can offer a word of advice or just an ear to listen if you need it. I also understand if sometimes you don't wanna waste your breath on me, but I hope at least sometimes you do, because there are very few people in this world who want you to suceed as sincerely as your father does. Either way, I love you children and I pray you will, in time, learn to use your words and spend your time wisely.

## Lesson 4: Your Heatlh is Your Wealth

This next lesson might be particularly important for our time. It seems, especially in our little corner of the world, that most people have no idea what it even means to be "healthy". Indeed, I've spent nearly my entire adult life persuing the knowledge of what makes and keeps a person in good condition physically and mentally, and I can attest to the incredible struggle it presents. Still, there is basically nothing as important, in this life, as your health. And regardless of what "doctors" nowadays might try to convince you of, your mental health is inevitably and intimately tied to your physical well being.

I'll be honest with you though, it isn't going to be easy. There seems to be an almost deliberate assault today, kids, on your physical body; and from every direction. Not only is most of the information out there, including from "official" sources, complete garbage, but also the methods and conditions which to apply the knowledge is by no means trivial or easy to get right. However, there is also a lot to be gained. An ancient but very wise man Socrates once said, "it is the greatest of tragedies for a man to reach the age of adulthood without ever knowing his full physical vigor". You will hardly even comprehend the full depth and glory available to you in this life unless you achieve some significant level of physical health in it.

This is because energy is the true currency of life, and without your health you will have very little energy to do and pursue the things you want to according to the other lessons which we have already discussed. As always, you will make mistakes, sometimes horrible ones. Perhaps you will be at a low point in life and put on a lot of weight. Perhaps you will neglect your mobility for a long time and get really stiff and experience a lot of pain. I've done all of these things and more, but just know that through discipline and knowledge there is a way out, always.

It's important to mention that "doctors" nowadays are often not really there to help you much. Let me try to explain what I mean, you see there are roughly two different kinds of medicine practiced in modern medicine. There is what's know as "acute" treatment, like when you get in a car accident and someone has to put you back together immediately or your life is at stake, and then there is "chronic" medicine. It is in the latter category where doctors really won't be much help, and in fact, will more often than not try to sell you on something that will only make things worse.

Now to be sure, this is a very contentious issue today, but I have my reasons as well as an unambiguos [philosophy](https://nrd.sh/blog/code-of-rebellion/#decoherence-a-royal-indictment) which you can review at such time that you are ready for it, but the simple truth is this: doctors are not even taught about how your body actually works or what's good or bad for it. They are really only educated on which drugs to sell for this or that symtom. So it is, that if you want to keep your body in good shape, long term, it is largely going to be on you; in keeping with the first lesson of this letter.

Now there is *a lot* of really good, and really awful information out there, and it's taken me a very long time to sift through and I'm still sifting through, to try and keep myself happy and healthy. For this reason, alone, I truly hope that I am able to sustain a relationship with you guys after this current battle is over, so that I can impart some of this hard won knowledge onto you, and hopefully make your journey towards health a bit easier. What matter's right here and now aren't so much the specifics so much as the principles.

Your body is designed to move, never let anyone convince you that exercise isn't absolutely essential for your life. I know it sucks, and it can be real annoying most days, but there is an infinite amount of information out there now more than ever, as well as just plain common sense, that tells us how essential exercise is for a healthy body and mind. Most people don't even really know how to exercise. A lot of folks might go into a gym and do the same 3 exercises again and again for months or years.

It's far more important to learn about how your bodily is actually designed to move, and to challenge it with increasingly difficult exercises as time goes on. It's important to consider your joints, your flexibility and your mobility as much as it is your muscle mass. There are also a lot of folks out there who might try to convince you to take shortcuts, like anabolic steroids, for example. Don't do it. It isn't about reaching some goal, remember, it is about learning how to maintain your health over the long term. To that end, shortcuts like steroids are a massive detriment, and also very dangerous to your body for a whole bunch of reasons.

Also, a category of exercise that is nearly universally overlooked but probably one of the most important is mobility training. That is moving your body in such a way that you retain and improve the full range of mobility of your joints. There are a lot of exercises, not well known, that can be of fantastic utility in this department. Hopefully I have a chance to show you some, but if not, definitely seek them out and apply them, and you will not regret it.

Another aspect of your health which is critical is your nutrition. This is probably one of the most contentious and difficult things to get right, though throughout the years I've gotten it down pretty solid and I hope to share some of that knowledge with you going forward. Even so, the general principle is simple. Most food today isn't real food. It's mostly crap that your body doesn't need that will need to be flushed out later on down the line. In short most food is basically just debt. It requires deliberate effort and time to get your hands on some honest to goodness real food.

Most of the time, unless you are in a real nice area or a very expensive restuarant (even then it's not guaranteed), you'll end up having to cook for yourself to get the proper nutrition your body really needs. In my own view, having achieved a high level of nutritional saturation at this point in my life, I would even go as far as to say that many of the world's problems today are directly related to malnutrition. I can tell you from experience that when I compare my level of ability to think and process information now, vs when I was severely malnurished, it's like night and day. For that reason I might even go so far as to say that to maintain proper nutrition is absolutely essential to experience what one might call "true freedom" in this life.

Life is a battle, in a lot of ways, and in order to sustain the energy and focused required enough to fight and eventually overcome it, you need to stay well nourished and avoid poisoning your body too much so you don't slow down. This is by no means the norm, which is why I dedicate the whole section to it, because you need to understand that most folks out there have already given up on their health, or ever finding an answer to it. Partially because of the difficulty of exercising regularly and correctly, partly because of the difficulty involved in nourishing yourself properly, and maybe partially just out of habit.

This is precisely why you want to get healthy as young as possible and stay healthy as long as you can: your habits will either work for you, or against you in the long run. I am in a situation where I built up a ton of bad habits, and it has taken me over a decade now to break many of those to get my health to a place where I am even starting to feel like I have the upper hand. Don't let that be you. Get healthy and stay healthy as soon as you can, and use that energy to pursue your life with full intensity and determination.

There's lots of other aspects of health that we need to touch on as well, such as getting enough sunlight, avoiding too much harmful bluelight-especially late at night-maintaining healthy relationships, and getting adequate rest and sleep. I just briefly mention them here so that you'll be aware of their importance, but hopefully we can get into some detail together in the future.

I will always be here, as your father, to help you along the way, and train with you or cook with you whenever you want. I know you can do it, you are all so much stronger than I am, inside, so if I can do it, you will have no problem I'm sure.

## Lesson 5: Love is Not Control

This is a big one, both for me as I've come to learn, but also for you to be able to avoid such a miserable and difficult struggle that you have witnessed your mother and I endure. There is also a lot of confusion in society that I feel compelled to clear up for your sake, since it took me years to find clarity on this topic and its not common knowledge. It is a simple lesson, one a lot of folks will profess to know and understand intuitively, yet it isn't gonna be so simple to apply for many folks, due to the strength of our emotions and the tug of our hearts, as well as a system that I hope to expose here in my current battle, which plays on every aspect of it and milks us all for most everything we are worth in the process.

The current state of affairs when it comes to love is truly dispicable. It is little wonder most folks have just given up entirely. So it is I'd like to impart some hard fought wisdom from my own experience, and since you have witnessed my struggles first hand, you'll know I tell you the truth. I want to be delicate here, because again, I know you love your mother very much, despite everything, but I also have to find a way to be honest and direct, or the message ain't gonna come across.

So I'll try to speak abstractly about the dynamics between men and women, so that you can hopefully understand the better way, and the worse way to handle these kinds of relationships. Because of the utterly and, in my honest opinion deliberate, corruption of the current system of "marriage", I want to lay out some knowledge of some pitfalls to avoid as well, so you can hopefully avoid stumbling into the same traps I have.

First of all, I'm just gonna come out and address the fundamental issue. We live in a time, now, where folks don't even wanna admit that men and women are different at all. To me, this is actually more of a reflection of the profound lack of awareness and understanding of our modern times and how we come to get here, as well as a total lack of experience in actually dealing with members of the opposite sex. There is also a hint of despair in there, as the challenges men face nowadays seem damn near insurmountable even for the strongest and most capable of us, and so some men, it would seem, seek to redefine their identity purely as an escape from the reality and deathly responsibility of being a man in today's world.

But understand here and now this is a lie and a corruption, maybe not in every single case but in many. A lot of people will hate me for saying it, but it's the truth. Now don't go around hating anybody or judging them for their life choices. We all struggle in this life, and the point of saying this so bluntly ain't to judge anyone else, but to impress upon you the reality of the situation in a world so full of noise and confusion on the subject. Men and women are not the same at all, and actually, the only reason that many people seem to feel that way today is because many men, especially, have failed to live up to and embody the full spirit of masculinty that uniquely distinguishes the characteristics of fully developed men.

Some of this is through ignorance or inaction, but some of it too is also systemic. Much of our food, as we discussed in the last segment, is toxic. It is somewhat peculiar, in my honest opinion, that a lot of those toxins just so happen to especially hinder the development and production of male testosterone. Coupled with a severe lack of health, nutrition and physical development as we discussed in the last segment, as well as a general inexperience with the feminine counterpart and how to properly manage our relationship to it-which can only really be learned by hard won experience-we might say that the fully developed man may now be one of the rarest things available to us on earth.

I would further suggest to you then, my children, that we live in an era of hyper-feminization, where men are expected and encouraged to behave as women. There are a variety of reasons for this, such as the fact that, without many men around anymore, it's hard to even know what the proper expression of masculinity truly is. There is also the fact that the feminine tendency is such as to be far more agreeable, and concerned with things like "safety" and "security" over more masculine concerns of "freedom" and "autonomy". A lot of folks will hate me now, for even suggesting that the differences between men and women are inherent, but not only are they [dead wrong](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sax-on-sex/202405/ai-finds-astonishing-malefemale-differences-in-human-brain), but this letter isn't for them anyway; it is for you.

Again, I will say much of the misunderstanding comes from a lack of experience. Those children, then, that have the opportunity to grow up in a household, quite rare nowadays, where a healthy expression of both masculinity and femininity prevail have a tremendous advantage. You kids didn't have the luck of any such advantage so I try here now to explain it to you as best I can to fill in the gaps of your current experience and hopefully set you down the right path.

Now we are gonna talk about what the natural expressions of masculinity and femininity are, as best I have experienced, and how many of those dynamics have been turned on their head in the modern world to detrimental effect. In general, feminine energy is more agreeable, it represents a certain conservation of energy, a reluctance to cause harm or speak against the grain. Most women, nowadays, will hate it when I say this, but they also derive a certain pleasure from submission. Whatever they tell you, women will always submit to whatever they deem the highest authority. Even the rabid "feminists" of the world are, seemingly unknowingly, but none the less ironically enough, submitting themselves to an ideology that was in large part progenerated and funded by men, for very particular reasons not at all in alignment with their understanding of the movement.

That's beside the point. The point is, women seek protection and safety, and so they seek to identify the highest authority they can in their environment, and align themselves (or "submit") to their authority faithfully. Most women nowadays end up submitting to the authority of the state (or culture), and it is little wonder then, that basically whatever the state tells them to believe, they believe. Whether it be feminism, or subordination to a job, or that men are evil, or that they live in a partriarchy. The key thing to understand about the feminine is that is primarily driven by emotion.

It matters little if at all that most of the things I just listed are not true in fact, it matters even less if you present a well organized and structured case to demonstrate, for example, that a state which punishes men severely and deprives them of their children in 80% or more of cases, doesn't really constitute a patriarchy by any meaningful definition. It doesn't mater at all if you really understand the feminine nature, because they are driven by emotion. The state tells them its a patriarchy, and they have submitted themselves emotionally to the authority of the state, so it's a patriarchy, and that's it. They don't wanna hear any more of it. Of course, every person is their own being, with their own personality, but more or less this is how the feminine energy operates, whether they realize it or not. This is why, for example, no matter how long this egregious corruption of the condition of fatherhood goes on, women simply cannot see it, because emotionally it doesn't exist to them, because their authority figure told them so.

Now we will talk about the masculine traits, which are basically the exact opposite of the feminine, and naturally so. It is absolutely critical to understand that these differences are not "ideas" or "social constructs" as many today might have you believe, but rather they are inherent and natural expressions of our being. Any perversion or deviation from these energies has more to do with a lack of health and understanding much moreso than any sort of "social construct", as far as I have deduced it. And that leads me to my next point about men and masculinity. Where women seek safety, men seek freedom. Where the feminine desires protection the masculine seeks dominion of his particular environment. Where the feminine relies primarily on emotion, the masculine relies primarily on logic and reasoning. Where the character of a person is judged primarily by personality by the feminine, the character of an individual is judged by the masculine primarily by their strength and constitution, that is, how well they keep their word.

Men build their strength through focus, and a big part of the reason so few fully developed men exist today is because the primary means of achieving true masculine energy lies in the control of sexual desire. This lead us to a critical understanding about both men and women. It is through the lack of control of the sexual drive in both men and women that leads to a corruption of their natural spirit. That is, an over indulgence of sexual gratification for a man will more and more cause him to unnaturally emobody the characteristics of the feminine; where the over-indulgence of sexual gratification for a women will have just the opposite effect, and she seems to unnaturally embody more masculine characteristics.

It is absolutely critical to understand these differences, and that when they are corrupted by sex, their expression becomes unstable. It is just as unstable and unsustainable for a women to embody masculine energy, ultimately leading to either a delusional sense of entitlement that will ultimately end in the women ending up lonely and somewhat senile, as it is for a man to embody a feminine energy, where he will become so weak and ineffectual that he may be driven to simply put an end to his own life, or rest under the permanent dominance of an overmasculine woman until something horrible inevitably happens.

In order to understand this dynamic I will attempt to illustrate an analogy: the relationship between men and women is like a combustion engine. The feminine represents the combustion itself. It is powerful and dymanic, but without an engine block to contain it, it is basically just a choatic explosion. A man is the engine block itself. If it is not in good working order, it is mostly useless, or if it doesn't have any combustion at all, it is ineffectual. Over time, as well, the combustion will wear down the components of even the most well designed engine, and it will be necessary, then, to take time to rebuild portions of the engine to keep it in good working order.

This is a perfect analogy, in my estimation, because it illustrates the dynamic clearly. Feminine energy without any masculinity to contain it is dangerous and explosive. Women themselves instinctually know this of their nature which is why they seem to always seek to submit to the highest authority, as we have already discussed. The feminine, further, needs the engine block to help establish for it a purpose and a direction, just as much as the block needs the combustion to give it the drive it needs to fulfill its own purpose.

Similarly, the engine block is perfect for a man because it describes the situation thoroughly. If the egine is no good, the combustion will simply overwhelm it. Even if it is in good working order, it will eventually need to take time to reconstitute and regain its faculties. This is the perfect dymanic for men, because it shows the critical importance for them to find a place to direct and guide the combustive energy of the feminine in a meaningful direction. This is by no means trivial, and there is an important reason why the world and every civilization has always kept a close and demanding eye on its men. Men can easily become worn out, or ineffectual, or in the worst case totally corrupt. It is primarily through the brotherhood of other men by which they develop into strong and capable competent and truly masculine men. It is little wonder, then, that so many men today are struggling, having no real brotherhood to speak of, many being controlled by a hyper-masculine female who is, as we have shown, totally overwhelming them and attempting to control them, which often is expressed through isolationism as the woman doesn't feel his friends are "good for him", not understanding that he literally needs them to stay sane.

This is why it is critical for a man to resist the feminine influence at all costs, not only for his own sake, but for the sake of the feminine as well who desires its guidance. If men do not uphold their role to contain and direct the explosive energy of the feminine, even at the cost of their own desire, then they will quickly find themselves overwhelmed and totally dominated by it. I speak from experience, not from theory. The only way for a man to recover from such a situation is, again, sexual abstinance and brotherhood with likeminded men. It's important that a brotherhood is developed by masculine men, with other masculine men, as forging a brotherhood with overly feminine men will only serve to keep you in the same cycle of confusion which an overly feminine man is already stuck.

I cannot speak as much on how to develop properly the feminine since I am not a woman, however being an overly feminine man for a good portion of my existence I might have some idea about it. Women seem to desire community, and understanding. They want to feel emotionally stable and work to serve others. Again we are talking about the truly feminine woman, not the all too common masculine women of today. Masculine women, like feminine men, seem unhappy or unstable. The best I can liken it to is like an unstable isotope. Desperately trying to retain a masculine frame in a body that naturally wants to express its full feminine glory. In short, its like a ticking time bomb, and it is starting to express itself now in our time more and more clearly. Only after masculinized women have lost some of the mystic of their beauty do they seem to start to fully wake up to this.

There is no "snapping them out of it", since they rely primarily on emotion and they have largely subordinated themselves to a state and social structure which affirms their masculine tendencies. However, their deep feminine desire for a "real" man to submit to cannot be totally eliminated in most of them, or so it seems, and once they "hit the wall" of age, as it's come to be known in our time, only then do they start to wonder (but still not understand, since their emotional framing doesn't seem to allow for it) why it is they can never attract one of these men. Most of them, then, seem to develop an utter disdain for men in general, perhaps partly out of grief for not finding one and concluded "they must not exist", and partly because they have submitted themself to a culture which tells them men are evil, and emotionally align with that message.

It is no small wonder, then, why most people have given up on love in the modern world, and only now after explaining this sorry state of affairs to you my children, which will undoubtably be one of the more difficult, but also probably maybe one of the more important segments of this letter for you to read, especially as you get older and start to pursue the object of your desire in the opposite sex. But we have to come back now to the title of this section: love is not control.

It turns out that both overly feminine men and overly masculine women have something in common besides the instability which I've already alluded to: they tend to be overly controlling of their partners. I suppose it's not incredibly difficult to comprehend, if you think about it, they are in an unstable and confused state of existence; for the man he feels as though he has to "hold on" to this woman as his only option, being insecure in his masculine frame, for the woman, I can only guess but perhaps she is contemptful and untrusting of this "idiot" man that she feels she cannot rely on, true or not, and so he must be controlled and told what to do for his "own good".

Whatever the case is, though, it is important-no critical-to understand that this is not love, and in the final analysis, it is not worth investing in long term regardless of where you are in your own development. Don't waste time in these kinds of relationships or with these kinds of people. They aren't "evil" or "bad", but the problem is that you will both negatively encourage each other, through this mutal expression of different types of control, to delve deeper and deeper into this unhealthy and backwards state of being the opposite of what you should be. Therefore it is imperative for your own development, and for theirs as well if its someone you care about, to let it go. This can be one of the most difficult things to accomplish however, so I'll offer you some practical advice here.

My boys, you need to make sure and watch over your sisters. You need to make sure you understand just what kind of relationship they are in, and if you see these unhealthy dynamics developing, you need to stand as a protective man that she can run to for safety from her overly feminine and controlling male counterpart. My girls, you need to rely on your brothers and me in these times of relational difficulty. Men express their controlling tendency typically through direct force, and so attempting to leave a man who is trying to "hold on" to you will likely require some assistance. You might be tempted to rely on the state, but the state is a corrupt authority in its own right. You are far better off relying on your masculine brothers and father, as long as we are around and well, who can offer a firm but measured resistance to any attempt for an unhealthy man to "hold on" to you.

Remember it doesn't matter if you feel strongly for someone or care about them deeply, if this unhealthy dynamic of an overly masculine female coupled with and overly feminine male exists, you have to end it for everybodies sake. Maybe not even permanently, but at least as long as it takes to regain your natural frame and adjust, maybe with the same person if they do the same, or maybe with someone else if not. The key point is that to exist too long in the opposite frame is unsustainable and will inevitably lead to problems and potentially even harm, long term. It isn't worth it.

Again to my boys, if you ever find yourself in relation with an overly masculine female trying to control you, and you feel your masculine energy dwindling under her influence, you need to understand that she will never stop trying to convince you to stick around. She believes you don't know what is good for yourself, and won't take anything you say seriously. The only thing you can do is remove yourself from the relationship unconditionally. Don't argue, don't explain, don't get angry, don't judge. Just leave. The most important thing to do is to regain your masculine frame at all costs.

Now how do we do this? How do you regain alignment when in such a situation, which you almost invariably encounter at least once in your lifetime? Well I already mentioned it earlier but we need to go over it again: sexual abstinence. This is a very little understood wisdom in our time, though our ancestors understood it much better. It is important that you listen to me here then, since not many people will agree or even be aware of this wisdom. Abstinence for both men and women naturally assists with our realignment toward a more natural frame (masculine for men, feminine for women).

For men, it gives you the space to escape the pull of your desire, which is a naturally feminine expression, and the reason why being in relationship with the feminine inevitably "wears down" your engine block. Sexual gratification is a beautiful gift with someone you truly care for in healthy relationship, but it also has a price, my sons, and it is important to retain your masculine guiding energy for your women to be able to trust and respect your presence and so you do not push her into a more masculine frame of mind. It is also important for your life, so that you can stay on task, and keep your finances and health in proper working order.

To put it simply: women do not respect men who do not have some higher purpose or mission beyond mere sexual gratification, even if they love you, they will lose respect for you if you sink into this habit of sacrificing your goals for your momentary desires. This means that even in relationship you can never let sex guide your decision making. This is an incredibly foreign concept today, but it is none the less essential. Retain your seed at all costs where necessary. If you feel yourself slipping or you are going through a particularly difficult time in your relationship take some time away, meet with your brothers in a similar mindspace, or cultivate a brotherhood with someone who does and regain your masculinity at all costs. Retain your seed for as long as it takes to regain your masculine frame, and until you meet a women who is worth pursuing. Pursuing women frivolously during this time could lead to your downfall, so heed my warning seriously or pay the price.

For my daughters, please understand that I love you and want the best for you when I say this, and also understand that the world will incessantly and vicisously lie to you about what I'm going to say to you now, but regardless of what the world *says* they will inevitably judge you regardless, so ignore them. You must remain abstinent for as long as you can to retain your feminine frame. Masculine men do not respect nor truly desire promiscious women, and if you ever wish to find a truly masculine man to which you can happily submit under the terms we have already here discussed, then you must understand that they are looking for purity, by definition. Masculine women will never stop lying to you in this respect, they will tell you that it is "liberating" to indulge your sexual desire. It's not. All you have to do to know this for certain is look at the older generation of women who have lived their life this way.

These women are bitter, some angry, some depressed, but nearly all of them unhappy and alone, or in a relationship with a miserable man that they despise and mistreat. They are no role model for you. If you happen to be in a relationship with a man that does lead to sex, that's okay, but even so remain faithful as long as he remains masculine. If for any reason the relationship doesn't work, however, don't let anybody judge you; just do as we discussed already and leave to regain your feminine frame. But again maintain your abstinence. If you do this, no truly masculine man will judge you for having a previous partner.

Now all my children understand that I present this lesson to you now at potentially great personal cost. Making this public will almost undoubtably strike a mass of contraversy, but know that I could care less. I only wish for you to understand the truth that so many now fail to grasp. Further I wish you to understand the dynamics that led to my downfall and my current position, as well as how to recover from such a position should the need ever arise. No matter how bad your relational situation comes to, understand that long periods of abstinence will provide to you a solid foundation on which to reassess, rebuild and regain your footing and your natural frame.

Also understand that nothing of what I've said here is meant to be weaponized to judge others. People have their own lives, they make their own choices, and it is not for us to tell them how they should or should not live, regardless of if we feel we strongly know better or not. This knowledge is soley for use for yourselves in a world rife with relational, nearly universally so, contraversy and contention.

This section is so titled because the temptation, the great temptation when you are weak in an inappropriate frame, will be to stay in a relationship where control is being expressed over you. Don't fall for it. Real love does not require control. Neither for men, nor for women. A real masculine man, my daughters, can truly love a woman without any need to possess her, even if he desires to do so. It is rare in our time, almost extinct, but it is the truth. If you need space, he will give it to you. If even you need to leave, for whatever reason, he will let you go even if it hurts him, maybe not right away, but once he understands you are serious.

The same goes for a woman. A feminine woman who really loves you will never try to control you. If you need space she will trust you are making the right decision. If you need to leave she will understand that, despite your love together, the world calls you both to different paths. The hallmark of love is acceptance of the whole person. It is rare, it has always been rare, and it is damn near extinct in our time, but it does exist.

The secret to finding it, though, lies in discpline. This is why so few people today even believe in love anymore. They lack the discpline to reamin abstinent for as long as it takes for the opportunity of love to present itself. Many might be skeptical but it makes sense logically. If you will just accept the first offer that comes your way, how will you ever find the one you truly love? You won't and that's my warning to you in a nutshell. if you ever want to find someone you can truly love, whether for a lifetime or maybe just a long time, then you must retain control of your sexual desire, regardless of what this ridiculous world tells you.

Know that, like the masculine love I just finished explaining, I will always love you, even if you do not heed my wisdom here. Even if you rebel against it in fact. I do not require your obedience or your subservience, but I do desire for you to have a good and healthy life, and so I pray you will come to find the truth of my teaching here, someday, even if not right away. Whatever happens, whatever path you choose, and whatever difficulties or struggles you may face, your father will always be here if and when you need him.

## Lesson 6: Life is Beautiful

This is perhaps one of the tougher lessons to learn, especially in dark times such as ours, but its no less important; in fact maybe that makes it even more important, considering. Life is a beautiful thing, my children, and it is important never to lose sight of that. It is so easy to get overwhelmed with work, life, struggles, stresses, finances, responsibilities, obligations, mistakes, health issues, etc, etc, etc, etc. However, if you give in totally, if you refuse to stop and see the beauty in life, it is only then when you truly lose.

Understand that in order to see the beauty requires deliberate effort on your part. Although it can be made easier by good health and solid control of your desire. To use myself as an example: right now I am amidst the most difficult struggle of my life, which is to secure my right to father you kids properly and without interference from the state. This letter stands as my last resort to accomplish that, in case I fail. To impart my wisdom on you as best I can, so that you might still be able to say that you've learned something important from your father. To be a father is both a terrible and wonderful responsibility; and to feel like you've failed or been insufficient in this duty can be overwhelming and crushing. Truly I do not know how this will end, if I will be able to raise you in the place and fashion of my choosing as a truly free man, or if the corruption of the state will prevail and I will be able to leave you only with this letter and my guidance wherever I will be allowed to offer it.

And yet still, amidst all the great and terrible pain this has and continues to cause me, even here in this state which I now loathe and despise and which I only wish to remove myself from and soon as possible, if only I can acquire you into my custody, I see such immense beauty in life. In fact even the struggle itself and the pain I endure in it is beautiful to me in some way. This is directly related, I think, to the immense amount of discipline which I have now been able to muster over my lower desires and also the great level of health I have achieved after such a long period of struggle to achieve it. This is why I dedicated a segment to each of these things, because they are important in there own right yes, but also because they enable you, my children, to see beauty in everything. Even the pain and struggle of life.

Everywhere I go I can appreciate the beauty. I notice things now that I never seemed to have time to before. I have been stopping to talk to random strangers; something an introvert like me would have never done before. I am experiencing a whole new depth and meaning in life even amidst this darkest of times in my struggle to free you. Even when I look ahead, and I consider the possibility of failure, there is still hope and beauty. For you are all your own people. You will some day make your own decisions about what is right and wrong for yourselves. Perhaps someday you will consider this letter and accept parts, and possibly reject parts. That's fine. I am but one flawed man as well, I do not claim to possess all the answers in life. I know somehow, don't even ask me how necessarily, call it God perhaps or the Spirit of Man which long lay dormant and beaten to a pulp, but I know that somehow as long as I pursue my path faithfully, that one way or another you children will be okay.

Or rather you might say, I have faith that you will be okay, despite the struggle, despite what I see as a great corruption of our time. Despite whether or not I will be able to overcome it; in all of these things are there lessons and in all of these things is there beauty. Even a simple walk through the park can elicit and overwhelming sensation of joy to experience the air, the trees, the beauty of all of the life, even in such a place where the parks aren't particularly well kept.

Also understand, that to stop and appreciate the beauty in life leads, ultimately, to being given more and greater beauty to appreciate. I don't know how this mysterious principle works, exactly, though I have some future writings where I intend (and have already begun) to explore it; were you interested. Why just now, during this trip which I took only as a last resort for the sake of my sanity, knowing nothing of what to expect or what it would bring; it was just then I was exposed to some of the most overwhelming beautiful land and experiences I have yet come across. Of course, on the surface there wasn't much special about it, but just consider the circumstance as an example of the great unfolding of beauty that can happen in your life, when you simply allow it and take the chance and opportunity to seek it, just a bit.

After a long 35 years now, it was just a few short months ago I was able to collect enough information about my paternal lineage, having never known my father, to find where they ultimately come from. Until then I've always known myself purely as latino, and working out the family tree on that side as well, ended up finding we are originals and natives to the area of New Mexico, which my grandpa had long since informed me of. From Spain and a long chain of mestizo lineage comes my maternal line, and so part of your own lineage, my children. However, it was only recently I discovered the other half, originally from England (couldn't go back much further than that), but migrated as some of the earliest settlers to the area of Virginia, and still further across the mountains there to be one of the first families to settle in the area just over the mountains in what is now Tennessee.

Of course I didn't know this some months ago, all I found was that my paternal lineage came from England, had a short stint in Virgina and ended up in Tennessee for the majority of the history of this country. I had no idea where in Tennessee, so what are the odds and how could it be that it was the exact area that I just so happened to visit, even right down to the small little town which I happened to be staying, solely of the kindness of someone I didn't even know at the time, but who I now consider a great friend. This is the beauty of life that can unfold when you allow for it. This little place I ended up just so happened to be the very home of my forefathers who I'd never even known previously. My mind was, and still kinda is a little blown when I think about it, totally blown away by this experience which was so rich and indescribably full of beauty, even amidst what was likely equally great pains and struggles in my heart and mind as I battled the darkness to find a path forward for myself and my children.

And still, that is to say nothing of the people, of the wild's in an area that is, I've come to find, one of the absolutely most beautiful portions of this entire country. The feeling of belonging, like I have never experienced in 35 years, was overwhelming. Imagine seeking something your entire life, not even really knowing it, and finally finding it, even in your darkest hour, when everything seems like its caving in on itself and there is nothing left for you. This is the place, if I win this battle my children, which I intend to raise you. This is our home which I'd like for you to experience, at least for a little while.

Now heed my warning in this great message as well. I could have taken a different path entirely. I could have rejected this notion of celibacy which I was first inclined on a hunch from a bit of past experience and the experience of a close friend who just so happened, himself, to be a monk for seven years at an earlier stage in life. I could have been consumed by the darkness and given in, and allowed the corruption of the state to consume me totally. I could have given up on fathering you children and everything I have worked for up til now in life. And dammit you won't know the real worth of life, I suspect, until you've gone through something similar. It is indescribable. The temptation to do all of those dark things, and more, is very real and very visceral. Had I done so, though, I would not be writing here now. Something else entirely would have happened I'm sure, and something much more aweful. Of what exactly I cannot say, but I know that had I not taken a small chance to get to explore a little bit of beauty in life where I had known only pain for so long, that I might have been lost forever.

For had I given in, had I not taken the chance to pursue a tiny opportunity to gain some space to hopefully regain my sanity in all this darkness, I wouldn't now know where I come from, or where I'd like to go, or have a vision for your future that is full of so much more than the pain and bitterness we have, til now, all been experiencing. For that, regardless of the circumstance and the actions of others, I can only truly blame myself. For as I already got done telling you, it is up to a man to leave a relationship when it's not working. It is his burden and his responsibility. I didn't know of that, of course, not having any paternal guidance myself and not having much in the way of male role models outside of books and history, and now finally some really good friends that I didn't always have access to. The only consolation I can offer you, the only understanding, is that the reason I held on so long, despite myself and all the myriad of mistakes laid bare for you to witness, was for your sakes.

I've come to believe now, that the beauty inherent to my current cirmstance was a gift for holding on to a pure desire that I did not allow to become corrupted despite all of the misery and failure we experienced along the way. I simply never wanted you kids to have to grow up without a father, thinking back to all the pain it caused me, every time I thought about giving up, every time it seemed hopeless, everytime I did try to leave and got sucked back in, it was all so that you kids could come to know your father. I never gave up on this notion, because I always remember how much pain it caused me, how lost I felt growing up, how it seemed like the boys with dads just were so impossibly far ahead of me, how I felt like I never really understood myself or what to even do with life.

I didn't want that for you. Whether or not I achieve victory over the corruption of the state, which is itself an expression of the utter lack of appreciation for the absolutely essential and irreplaceable role of a father-which I have experienced all my entire life from the absence of my own-to the great joy of being yours; to now the great struggle I face to continue to be so. I never allowed that vision to be sacrificed in all these years, from slaving away in the garbage to a little higher up working with some of the most talented and intelligent people I've had the honor of knowing.

I know, somehow, that this experience isn't for nothing. That perhaps it will resonate, and shake free just a little bit of the apathy we have toward our current condition in this country. The time is ripe. There is a very real risk that our country and our people will be consumed totally and forever, and this now after only just barely coming to know who "my people" really even are. And why do I say this to you now? Because as we move forward into a time of great uncertainty and darkness we have a choice, not just you kids, but all of us collectively: we can remain in our apathy and ignorance and let our beautiful way of life and our country be utterly consumed and ultimately conquered by much more banal and incoherent forces which would undoubtably wreck its beauty and destroy its heritage totally, or we can awaken and realize that what's at stake is more than just our own future; it is yours, or collectively, the future of our children and their right to be truly free. Not this banal freedom to do as you please, but the real freedom that I only just learned my own fathers fought for themselves: the freedom to live life unencumbered by the corruptions of the state.

It could be that in order to truly "save" this country, as some would hope to do, we must regain collectively this appreciation for fatherhood, and trust men now with this sacred duty we have so long witheld from them. Perhaps if we allow our men to express and pursue the truest glory of masculinity: fatherhood, unhindered, that would be enough to reignite the spirit required to save this land, and it's deepest held ideas which were, after all, built by fathers of all stripes trying to protect their families from a great corruption, similar to the one we now face, across the sea.

But either way, my children, we are heading into dark and uncertain times. I only share all this with you so you can know truly who your father really is, in his soul. I have my own beliefs and my own vision for your future, and for this land and our country, but my vision is not yours. Whether I personally suceed or fail, I pray you will continue to pursue the beauty in your own life, and find something that matters as much to you as you kids do to me now. For I have sacrificed everything to be here, the place I now hate the most, to fight for you. I want you to know this: as much as I'd love to simply leave this place and all the hellish struggle it represents to me now, I cannot and will not leave here without you; at least not til the battle is over. You are my beating heart and soul more than any land, heritage, belief or person; as much as that's all come to mean to me. Though I have my own hopes and dreams for my future independant of what happens here, it just wouldn't be complete without you all, and my work as a father is not done.

I'm sorry it's come to this, but I hope, if nothing else, it serves as a great and enduring lesson for you all and your futures. Remember, this lesson of always finding a little bit of the beauty available to you might be one of the most important, and most difficult things for you to ever learn. But it is also essential, for it might just be at the very heart of what makes us human, after all. Please, then, don't give up on it when life get's rough; that's when you'll need it the most.

## Lesson 7: Give More than You Take

Now we are gonna end on a perhaps less profound, but no less important topic. One that is critical to understand and oft neglected. This is the lesson of finances, and how to properly manage them. First of all, it is important to understand that what really separates a free man from a slave is the ability to enact agency over one's own life. I even attempted to [formalize](https://nrd.sh/blog/code-of-rebellion/#the-class-of-the-citzen) this conception because we seem to have a severe misunderstanding in our time about the reality of slavery. You see, we have this colloqiual idea that slavery is dead and defeated, yet if you go by my (in my opinion) much more coherent definition of what consititutes slavery, the lack of authority or meaningful agency, the you'd be forced to admit that there are more slaves on the face of this earth now than there has likely ever been, and hopefully will ever be again, once this time has passed (and it will pass).

So this lesson is pertinent directly to your freedom my children and it concerns something that many of us don't like to think about, whether its from stress, overwhelm or just plain ignorance: money. Oh boy there is a lot to say about money as I've spent *a lot* of time and energy over the course of my lifetime to try and understand the reality of the economic situation in this country and the world. I hope someday I can share with the the fascinating, if somewhat horrifying, history of how our money came to be so entangled into the hands of but a few private interests, but for now suffice it to say the game is heavily, severely even, rigged against you.

It is almost at a point now where you have to agree to sell your soul over and become a regular visitior (proverbially) of a certain island and be a part of a special club to even have hope of finding freedom through financial success in this country. However, this isn't true. The situation may be dire, and the odds horrendously stacked against us all, but there is still hope and strength in the basic and immutable priniciples of economics. There is also power in integrity; so if somebody wants you to play your hand in a rigged game, the best thing to do is actually play an entirely different game all together.

That's what I'm gonna try to impart on you here, my children. There is a different way to find material and financial success in this world, one as old as time and that has endured and will likely continue to endure through the ages for the simplicity and inherent beauty of its principle. Whatever you choose to do specifically to pursue success, these same principles will inevitably apply. See what you really need to do is work with integrity. Remember when I said the hardest persons respect to earn is yourself, earlier? Well, imagine living with self respect, and working with honesty and integrity. Such a thing is so rare, nowadays, that people won't be able to help but notice it.

There is one more piece, though, that requires a bit of extra courage, no small bit of faith, and a little bit of genuine kindness. Be also, generous, my children. Strive to always give back more than it is which you take; always. If you are given a little, give a little more. If you are given a lot, give a lot more. Yeah we could go into all the details of finance, and how to invest, and all the various ways you might try to protect or prolong your money, and I might mention some of those here just to impress upon you their importance, but the real trick here is simple. Live and work with integrity and live generously always giving more than you are taking from others and the world will reward you. You can work out the math of it if you want to, but it's really kinda obvious if you think about it. People are social creatures. Trust and integrity have always been rare, but now they might be damn near extinct. The value of those things, even in purely reductionist economic terms, is immeasurable to a social animal, my children. I suspect, though, that there is a little more to it than just this reductionist analysis, personally.

Either way, this might be all a bit much for you now. You might have to come back to this piece, as I said in the beginning, when you are a little older. Hopefully it will still be available to you somewhere so that you can review it and find some use of it, or so I pray. But the underlying lesson couldn't be much simpler. Now I know you all already, and I know you are all very generous and kind hearted by nature. What you might not understand yet, though, is that the world has a tendency to harden your heart substantially as you get older. Holding on to your generous spirit and your integrity won't be as easy as you might suspect. Surely you will make mistakes, just as I did, but if you stay true to your goal and pursue integrity, I am sure you will find your footing.

Now we can get into at least a little bit of the specifics here. Always understand that it is the slaves game to only ever trade your time for money. Certainly, especially in the early days, it will be required to get some sort of economic footing in your life. But the most important thing you can do with that money you earn, especially when you are young, is look for opportunities to invest it back. Now this is where what we talked about comes back in. You can invest ruthlesly like a heartless capitalist, and to be sure you will likely make some good money that way, but if you take some extra effort to find things to invest your money into that have some meaning or some purpose to you, I promise you that your life will be much richer for it.

Also understand that there are far more important things in life that just money. Yes if you have no money at all, then the most important thing will likely be to get a hold of some. But once you've got the basics taken care of, it turns out that what's far more important is all these things I've been discussing so far. Still, if you have to spend the majority of your time slaving away for someone else's benefit, then it will be a lot harder if not impossible to realize your full potential in all the ways we have here discussed. So I want you always to look toward the future when it comes to money. Don't be afraid to take a little risk, but also invest wisely. Don't spend everything you have in a single direction and leave yourself destitute, but don't afraid to be bold when you are sure either.

Take your time. Life is a journey. You don't need to rule the entire world, you just want to have enough to take care of yourself, and maybe some children of your own someday, comfortably while living and pursing the things that are most meaningful to you. Money has this interesting effect in our society: either you work for your own interests, or somehow and one way or another, end up working toward someone elses. It usually pays a lot better, and is infinitely more fulfilling to boot, to work toward your own interests. And so, even if you have to start out working for someone else, you should always look for an opportunity to invest or branch out into something that you control, and something that matters to you.

Opportunities and businesses will come and go, however. Don't get your entire identity wrapped up into just one thing. When it's time for something to go, just let it go and move on. The experience you gain along the way will prove absolutely invaluable either way. And that's another important point: desparation begets desparation. Maybe that's hard to understand, but all it really means is that when you are desperate just to get your hands on a couple dollars, well, being social creatures again, other people can sense that. People want to work with individuals that make them feel like they are going to suceed; despration makes everyone feel like you are gonna fail. Even when things get rough, as they inevitably will, don't get desperate. Don't forget this warning: it is desperation that drives men to do some of the worst things mankind has ever done.

Remember that whatever anyone else tells you, the value of your person and your integrity is worth far more than any jewel or business. With integrity and experience you can make 1,000 successful businesses, but with shoddy work ethic and a greedy and unkind spirit, if you lose one business, nobody will ever wanna work with you again. The paradox I've come to find about money is that the more you desire it, the more it eludes you, but the more you focus on the work and put effort into what is meaningful to you, the more money seems to just find its way into your pocket somehow.

It's not magic; not really. It just makes sense. Integrity and work ethic are so rare, folks will practically be begging you to work with them if you can exhibit these characteristics consistently. Throw in that spirit of always giving back a little more and you'll never lack for anything, my children. I end on this note because while it might be one of the dryer and less emphasized lessons to many people, it is also one of the most crucial.

I have lived as a slave damn near my whole life. Please take my word when I tell you that you do not want to live your life that way. To my sons, understand there is a great burden on you. The first lesson here, that the world doesn't care about you, is extra true for you specifically. Nobody cares about the struggles of men unless and until they suceed in life. For my daughters, people will pretend to care more for you, but never forget its just an act, usually to take something from you; don't let them. Don't let that stop any of you, however, from being generous like I'm trying to teach you here. Just remember that you have to take care of yourselves, ultimately, one way or another. Of course, my daughters, you may find good masculine husbands that will be more than happy to care for you financially, but even so it is pertinent to contribute, even humbly, to the success and prosperity of your households, whether directly or indirectly.

Again, a lot of folks might have a problem with this, just as they obviously have a problem with fatherhood in general, otherwise we wouldn't be in this situation right now. None the less, the state of the world is such that it is fairly obvious that the opinions of your average person are not going to keep you safe or make you happy or free. Take this direction from your father, my children, and live a happy and prosperous life. The great tragedy of knowledge and wisdom is that it is often impossible to see the reason behind it until after you need to make use of it, so if some of this information doesn't make sense to you, or even upsets you, just know that I understand, but try to have a little bit of faith that your father only wants what is best for you and speaks to you now from a place of great experience born through many years of pain and suffering, doing all the wrong things, and learning the hard way. I promise you that the lessons in life learned the hard way are not quickly forgotten, so don't be afraid to take the harder path forward, as it will often be far more rewarding in the end.

Indeed, growing up without a father is difficult for precisely this reason. All of the guidance and direction I offer you here now I myself never received. Take this knowledge then, children, and live. Until such time as I am able to see you again, just know that your father is always with you in spirit. I love you all, no matter what you do or where you go. I will be praying for your success each and every day. Know that, should I fail in my battle against an utterly and staggeringly corrupt state, that when you are free to make your own decisions I will be waiting for you if you will have me. I will build up a house for you which nobody will be able to withold from you, as mine was witheld from me. I love you all, and I await the day I can see you again. Until then I will keep working hard for the sake of your futures.


From the bottom of my heart and soul,
Your father
