From d5a26072286b8fcbe4a6cb2191d305477f9f80cb Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Timothy DeHerrera Date: Tue, 21 Jan 2025 03:28:29 -0700 Subject: [PATCH] clarity: add crucial expansion on mentor culture --- content/blog/closed-openness.md | 16 +++++++++++----- 1 file changed, 11 insertions(+), 5 deletions(-) diff --git a/content/blog/closed-openness.md b/content/blog/closed-openness.md index fc1a9c7..59c0212 100644 --- a/content/blog/closed-openness.md +++ b/content/blog/closed-openness.md @@ -44,17 +44,23 @@ All of this has me reconsidering my approach. What started as an experiment in e Whatever the case, the real connections I've made are valuable, but my original criticisms of social media haven't just persisted — they've been validated more strongly than ever. For our purposes, though, there is one particular aspect that I have been thinking about a lot lately that ties into the topics I'd like to discuss in the rest of this post. -My experience on 𝕏 has highlighted a particularly troubling pattern: the replacement of meaningful discourse with performance. Where social media could be a powerful tool for knowledge sharing and mentorship, it instead rewards degredation into a arena of posturing and point-scoring. I've now watched countless opportunities for genuine learning transform into gladiatorial spectacles of utterly unfulfilling "dunks" & "ratios". But this isn't just about social media behavior — it's symptomatic of a deeper cultural shift in how we approach knowledge transfer and personal growth, outright. +My experience on 𝕏 has highlighted a particularly troubling pattern: the replacement of meaningful discourse with performance. Where social media could be a powerful tool for knowledge sharing and mentorship, it instead rewards degredation into a arena of posturing and point-scoring. I've now watched countless opportunities for genuine learning transform into gladiatorial spectacles of utterly unfulfilling "dunks" & "ratios". But this isn't just about social media behavior — it's symptomatic of a deeper cultural shift in how we approach knowledge transfer and personal growth all together. ## From Mentor to Memelord & (Hopefully) Back Again -There's been a concerning shift in our culture, particularly visible in western masculinity. Social media and our hyper-competitive society seem to have transformed what it means to be a "successful man". The old ideal of success through mentorship and discipline has been replaced by two equally troubling archetypes: the dominant personality who succeeds through belittlement and bullying, and the passive observer who maintains their position by carefully avoiding confrontation with these bullies. This creates a self-reinforcing cycle where authentic leadership and mentorship are gradually and deliberately pushed out of our spaces. The bullies dominate the conversation while many who could challenge them choose silence for self-preservation. While there are still exceptional individuals bucking this trend, even they seem increasingly burnt out; worn down by endless waves of entitled demands and online trolling. +There's been a concerning shift in our culture, particularly visible in western masculinity. Social media and our hyper-competitive society seem to have transformed what it means to be a "successful man". The old ideal of success through mentorship and discipline has been replaced by two equally troubling archetypes: the dominant personality who succeeds through belittlement and bullying, and the passive observer who maintains their position by carefully avoiding confrontation with these same bullies. -We've lost something essential: the understanding that growth requires the courage and the freedom to make mistakes. In a culture where every misstep is weaponized and every moment of ignorance becomes ammunition, people retreat into safe, predefined boundaries rather than risk genuine growth. I understand this instinct deeply — I have certainly experienced some very real consequences from speaking up, including potential threats to my career. Yet here I am, still writing, still engaging. Not because I'm special or particularly brave, but speech is the only way to effect change. The cost of speaking up is real, but the cost of collective silence is far greater. +This creates a self-reinforcing cycle where authentic leadership through mentorship is gradually and deliberately pushed out of our spaces. The bullies dominate the conversation while many who could challenge them choose silence for self-preservation. While there are still exceptional individuals bucking this trend, even they seem increasingly burnt out; worn down by endless waves of entitled demands and online trolling. -We see the results of this silence everywhere: excellence has become increasingly rare, when it should be our standard. While not everyone will reach the top 1%, that's not really the point — the goal should be continuous self-improvement and helping others do the same. Our current culture punishes the dips in this journey when we should be viewing them as opportunities for growth and mentorship, at least more often than we do. +We've lost something essential: the understanding that growth requires the courage and the freedom to make mistakes. In a culture where every misstep is weaponized and every moment of ignorance becomes ammunition, people retreat into safe, predefined boundaries rather than risk genuine growth. I understand this instinct deeply — I have certainly experienced some very real consequences from speaking up, including potential threats to my career. Yet here I am, still writing, still engaging. Not because I'm special or particularly brave, but simply because speech is the only way to effect change. In short: the cost of speaking up is real, but the cost of collective silence is far greater. -This mentorship crisis reflects a deeper cultural confusion about strength and leadership. Whatever the cause, we clearly have a very hard time, nowadays, understanding and agreeing on the productive role of masculinity. It's worse, in fact; we can't even seem to agree on a defintion... +We see the results of this silence everywhere: excellence has become increasingly rare, when it should be our standard. While not everyone will reach the top 1%, that's not really the point — the goal should be continuous self-improvement; growing and sharing with others along the way. The current culture, however, punishes the dips in this journey when we should be viewing them as opportunities for growth and mentorship, at least more often than we do. + +And, to be clear, a mentoring culture isn't just about the teacher, it's just as much about the student mentality. The need to be perfect belies our curious nature and our genuine desire to grow; worse, it actively discourages potential assistance. If you have ever attempted to help someone with a defeatist attitude, or an obsessive need to know or control it all, I needn't say more. + +As far as I can tell, this mentorship crisis reflects a deeper cultural confusion about strength and leadership. And whatever the cause, we clearly have a very hard time, nowadays, understanding and agreeing on the productive role of masculinity in all of it. It's worse, in fact: we can't even seem to agree on a definition. + +And just now, more than ever, we really seem to need to know the answer to move forward in *any* meaningful direction. ## What Is a Man?